Things that bother me about my faith

Hey guys, Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening. Whatever time of the day you get to read this.😂 I trust you have been alright from the last time you were here.

It’s your girl Nono. Yass!

I expect criticism and a great load of judgement from people. Especially those that know me personally because of this post. But then, I’ve thought about this long and hard before deciding to share with us so, let’s respect ourselves. Judge me all you want but NOT to my face❤️

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Currently watching Tyler Perry’s Sistas.  🔥 

(I love this movie because it sheds light on, the real problems people have in real relationships and not the regular romanticized total flowers and chocolates version we watch on tv or read in books. Most importantly, I’m obsessed with it because it exposes the level of judgment, hate and violence the gay community suffers)

Well! well! well! 

It all started from a WhatsApp status sha. Few months ago, I posted a Christian worship video on my WhatsApp status just because I felt like. My day was all sunny and great until someone replied my WhatsApp status with ‘I thought you are an atheist’. 

Blood of Chineke Nna God. My heart went fiaaam. How dare him? Who born him? How he form? Atheist who? Me ke? 

I asked him the reasons for his thought. He said my posts where I openly condemn pastors for their greed plus my posts talking about loopholes in religion made him conclude I am irreligious. The effrontery!

I started battling with my keyboard trying to correct his impressions about me. Yet while doing this, I was filled with great doubts. I felt like I was telling myself a fat lie.

This gave me serious restlessness. I started pondering on my Christian life and discovered I am just a Christian because I was born into a Christian family. Nothing deep. 

I hardly pray. I don’t for the life of me read any Christian articles or books except Christian romance novels ( I don’t know if this is actually a thing but, it was a thing for my classmates in secondary school). I used to read the popular ODM devotional but it was just the stories in the devotional.  I always wonder what people jot down during sermons and if they would actually go back to read them. I try so hard not to sleep in church.

The only aspect of Christianity I don’t consider a chore is singing. Definitely not the boring 

Imela ooo ooo ooo x1000

Ezi chineke imela... songs and their likes that make you clap your hands drily in church  while counting the ceiling boards and wondering if the K in knife is actually necessary. 

I mean the Mercy Chinwo likes that once the gospel band starts playing thenm, you feel like tearing your whole body with dance.

No matter how I try, I don’t understand the Bible as a book. Some passages make sense to me while some just don’t. 

 I can’t seem to understand why Christians quote and live by the rules of the Bible selectively? We preach against let’s say stealing and murder which is ugly by the way but turn a blind eye to adornment with jewelries, wearing of expensive clothes. Wearing a cloth that has a mixture of linen and wool, planting of different crops on the same soil, etc.

Why does the Bible support slavery? Honestly, WHY?

Why does the Bible support subjugation of women?

According to it, women have to be submissive. Women aren’t allowed to preach or teach in the presence of men? Why does it consider it shameful for women to speak in churches?

Why are women considered unclean while on their period and after childbirth, remain unclean for seven days if she bore a son and two weeks for a daughter?

Plus other forms of subjugations such as unbelievable virgin tests and punishments for rape victims, war bounty etc.

Another incident that really pained my heart and increased my doubts is the not so recent raping and killing of a young lady in a church. Like how? 

I’m quite sure the lady might have begged God to do something. Anything to rescue her.

I mean I as a human would have done something if I had any powers to help her. Yet she was supposedly in the presence of the almighty yet, nothing was done to save her. No thunder, no lightning, no confusion amongst the criminals just like in the story of Tower of Babel. No nothing. I don’t just understand.

 Ok! Just as someone pointed out on Facebook, let’s say fire engulfed a rented apartment with different tenants. Let’s say it damaged the properties and probably took the life of a tenant’s child. Soon, other concerned tenants would start trooping in to console the bereaved. Telling him/ her of how the soul of the departed is in a better place so, he should rejoice instead of mourning because it is God’s will as nothing happens under the sun without his knowledge.

These same set of tenants would still go to Church and give testimony of how the Lord spared their lives and properties and the fire killed one tenant and God didn’t touch allow it touch them. They would go on to do thanksgiving, party and celebrate. 

I don’t know why I feel this is actually insensitive and hypocritical. You are consoling someone and telling him that his child is in a better place but deep down, you don’t want your own child to go that better place. Neither do you want that particular ‘will of God’ to manifest in your life.

We portray Christianity as a religion of peace and love yet, we know how the Bible  warns us not to associate with unbelievers (Non-Christians in my understanding). Not to eat with or touch anything belonging to them as they are unclean.

I also shudder at the way God commands Israelites and other believers to slay their enemies in thousands in a blink of an eye. Especially in the Old Testament.

What about the condemnation to hellfire even for ‘committing’ the littlest sin such as anger which is very much human. All Christians are expected to remain perfect and pure at the point of death (which is mainly unpredictable) else, be condemned to hellfire. 

The belief that if someone offends you no matter how grievous (replace grievous with killing your loved one(s) and repents before death, the person goes to heaven while the aggrieved person burns in hell if the person chooses not to forgive or forgives without forgetting. How unfair can this be?

Let’s look at  the popular bible story of Elisha ordering two female bears to eat forty children because they called him a baldie. Preachers still use this to preach while we nod in agreement.

Meanwhile we know that in this time and age, there’s a way you’ll beat a child for insulting you and you would be seen as an evil person.

Why would Christians of a denomination contribute their widows mite into building of schools yet upon completion, the outrageous fees would be impossible for them to afford. 

We all see well to do pastors curse their members for not bringing 10% of their earnings no matter how meager to them. 

Why do Christians lose their sense of reasoning at the mention of church and ‘my pastor said’? Even the most learned? 

Why are we more religiously zealous than the people that brought Christianity to our country? You would hardly pass a street without seeing one or two, three, five, seven churches. Different church denominations renting different halls in the same building is neither new nor strange over here. Every Sunday, would always be a show of who has the loudest speakers or noisiest generator set.

Pastorpreneur has turned a good business. 

Just claim to be called by God, Start prophesying and ‘seeing’ visions. It doesn’t matter if your visions are all about your congregations crediting the church’s account in exchange of open doors or, accusing people’s mothers of eating their children’s destinies. Just be able to prophesy, perform miracles/healings and see visions. You would get rich on the backs of Christians struggling to buy your holy water, anointed oil, handkerchief and all what not. 

Your congregation wouldn’t wonder why they buy your anointed protection stickers, wristbands and aprons that seem unable to protect you as you actually walk around with tight security. They would rather call you daddy and fiercely defend your name in argument than ask themselves questions because, “touch not my anointed”.

Little wonder the richest pastor in the world is from Nigeria. Infact, the list of ten richest pastors in the world is decorated by Nigerian pastors.(somebody shout hallelujah).

It’s quite surprising that despite our religious fanaticism, Nigeria is still one of the most corrupt countries in the world. 

We’ll rather build churches to pray and fast for success than build schools to teach ways to succeed.

Asides the fear of sudden death (which is actually no respecter of person), fear of hardship (let’s not pretend like the poor are the ones that do the most in serving God and are always found in church) and fear of hellfire, why exactly are you a Christian?

If you were born into a family with a different religion, would you still be a Christian?

I’ve been searching my mind for answers both to these and many more I can’t write here yet, found none. Mostly a vague ‘God’s ways are not the ways of man’ or ‘God must have a good reason’ people sprinkle at me whenever I air my thoughts. If I don’t drop the topic, I get uncomfortable silence or, a look mixed with both fear, confusion and pity because, how dare I question what everyone else accepts without fear of God’s wrath. I mean, God gave us minds to do what if not think?

In most cases, I’ve been admonished by my parents for daring to not just question my faith but, voice it. My dad shakes his head and practically runs away while, mum always break into prayers whenever I try to hold these kind of conversations with them. I find it hilarious as she begs God to prevent me from ‘evil thoughts’ and guide me on the path of righteousness.

 I’m sure I’m the reason for the long sermons held in my house centered on proving the existence of God as though I’m doubting that. 

I just need answers.

(My parent’s  reaction each time I question my beliefs in their presence).

So many things concerning my faith don’t add up to me and I think I’m openminded enough to logical answers. I hope I find them.

(MUA:  Jossy She’s currently running an online contest with juicy offers. Don’t sleep on this)

Till I come your way next time dear Kings and Queens

Love and light, Nono❤️

#ThingsThatBotherMeAboutMyFaith

#QueenLikeNono