Memoir: My Enugu Experience

O42

Hey loves, welcome back.

I got done with my exams about a week ago (somebody shout hallelujah!). in-between getting enough movies that will last me forever and, trying to get all the sleep I had forfeited, my friend brought a departmental convention to my notice and it was to be held in Enugu. Mehn, I paid the token attached to it as soon as I could especially when I heard microbiology students from other schools in the South-East will be in attendance (this means getting to see new faces of fine guys right?). I started packing my bags.  My friend let’s call her “darling” is from Enugu so, my whole excitement wasn’t getting to her.

Why was I excited tho? Well it’s not every day you get an “all-expense paid” (for a token sha) trip to one of the many states you’ve never set your foot in. I had always dreamt of visiting Enugu during my childhood days just because, one of my dad’s friends whose family was close friends with ours lived there. They were so much fun when they were around for either Christmas, wedding or whatsoever that brought them to the village. The eldest son and I were paired a couple for reasons I can’t clearly remember. I always pretended to get annoyed when our siblings sang a made up song about us sitting under a tree and K-I-S-S-I-N-G but deep down, I sang along. Despite our mothers emphasizing on us being siblings and not married (how abeg), he was my major crush for a long long while and when my classmates in primary and junior secondary school were applying lip-gloss, keeping seats for and borrowing notes from the boys they liked, I was busy fighting, scratching eyes and tearing school uniforms of any boy that crossed my path.

Chimamanda Adichie’s ‘Purple Hibiscus’ also fuelled my desire to one day pay a visit to the coal city.

Wednesday

When the bus conveying fourty four of my colleagues and I arrived the host school being Enugu State University of Science and Technology (ESUT) in Agbani around 5 pm, my excitement couldn’t be contained. 

Main gate

We got into the lodge rented to house us for our four-day stay only to meet crowd and better fight. I learnt that instead of coming with a few students, Abia State university came with close to a hundred and fifty students and were fighting to get more rooms and beds in addition to those reserved for them. It was so funny to me till my school got registered and I saw the state of the rooms allocated to us. I began to rethink my main purpose of making the journey. Like how can twenty-four females occupy two poorly ventilated rooms with no signs of electricity. We were also to share the tiny foams that reminded me of my boarding school bed in the ratio of two full grown women to one tiny bed. All my excitement vanished with the stench coming from the toilet. The beautiful part of this accommodation is the only water source was from a well. My imaginative mind started to see someone pour saliva or, allow his/her HIV infected blood into the well in the middle of the night only for others to use the water by morning. LOL

Well, my able excos fought as they could and an extra room was given to the ladies from my school narrowing us to eight per room. This was a little bit better but, when Darling suggested we move to her friend’s house in town who was actually family to her and was ready to accommodate us, I couldn’t say no. After giving our contribution for a bucket, a padlock and some other necessities, we said our goodbyes.

I actually thought I had entered Enugu until the journey to ‘town’ i.e Enugu town. (those of us that can still remember 36 states and capital will understand).  Hey gawd! Enugu is fiiiine. The city was very much busy even at 8 pm.  Street lights everywhere. I was shocked when the keke conveying us stopped in compliance to traffic light. Back in Abia State, I can’t remember when last I saw a functioning traffic light talk more of drivers obeying it. I’m used to seeing angry traffic wardens. The scenery is so beautiful and although it took us a while to locate the house, all my crankiness which started as soon as the driver named the unrealistically exorbitant price and Darling just went ahead to pay when I was already in a “do you know who I am…abi you think I’m a stranger here” mood left me as soon as I saw a huge bed that would be my resting place plus a huge television playing some nice music on MTV base. When food came, foggerit it. I have arrived.

Baby girl for life coming through 😜

Thursday

Thursday morning came and I practically forced myself out of bed and to the school dragging Darling along with me too.  Although that was after eating like a glutton I am. The program hadn’t even started around 10 am so, arriving at 9 am against the stipulated time which was 8 am gave me time to interact with my colleagues.  Wait a minute! I can’t believe only a wrap of moi-moi each was all they had for dinner and no breakfast too. The program set up with some lecturers from the host school giving us some lecture but, this young lady right here had sworn never to open talk more of reading any school book till second semester so, she kept on zoning out until Darling who was equally bored suggested we go out for some fresh air and pictures.

I'm all set for a corporate job. It's remaining certificate

Thursday was corporate day.

Upcoming artistes performed and I kept hailing them. Some people thought it was mockery but, there I was giving all the support I could. Although one of them actually performed a nice song that made most of us stand from our seats to vibe to it and he was actually a handsome man. Sadly, he didn’t drop his phone number. I had a nice laugh when the president and vice president of each school in attendance were called to either dance or sing together. Only my school sang instead of the highly sexual grinding and rocking dance other schools’ representatives presented and no matter how the song was sung, nobody jeered at them because, my colleagues and I served as serious hype men. I’m speaking of united we stand and divided we fall, what you treat your dog is how people treat it and, Solidarity forever. The highlight of the event for me was when the organizers shared brunch which comprised of a soft drink and doughnut. I couldn’t be more grateful to find my way back to our host’s house at the end of the day’s program with promises of buying okpa and good food for some people that asked while coming on Friday.

Friday

Friday came with excitements and expectations as that was the day scheduled for a trip to akwaeke beach in Enugu state. Rumours on how underdeveloped and ‘local’ it is couldn’t deter me or, dampen my excitement abit. All beach na beach. Darling and I woke quite early to do some chores so, it won’t be as though we are parasitic and came with only our mouths. We were in the middle of the chores when our host whom I will refer to as Zayn offered us a cupcake each. I noticed the cake was quite hard when I took a bite. I also noticed some particles and I told Darling. I am not a fan of chocolates so, I offered mine which was barely eaten to Darling who was extra happy to have it. Men and brethren after about twenty minutes, my legs left the floor and everything started dancing before my eyes. I asked Darling and she affirmed to the same feeling. I confronted Zayn who confirmed my fears concerning the chief ingredient in the cake. We locked ourselves inside the bedroom and started to pray holding hands. I was terribly scared that ill run mad and, I started looking for escape routes just incase people came to attack me and, jumping from a storey building looked cool to me. I also planned to smash the television and any available glassware on my potential attacker’s head. Now I just wonder how I could have possibly carried that huge TV alone. Darling was also paranoid and the tiniest sound made us jump.  We finally agreed to hold hands and try to sleep. I kept on having nightmares and waking to severe headaches almost every thirty minutes. This continued for the whole day.

I woke up later in the evening feeling somewhat better. I found a plate of coldstone ice-cream around my bedside. We do not find stuff like that in umuahia Abia state not even in our Shoprite so, I didn’t think twice before jumping on it (after confirming it was not only mine but also fit for human consumption).

Saturday

I was a lot better by morning unlike Darling who ate a larger portion. Based on an agreement made last night, we woke early not to do any chores this time but, to pack our bags and run for our lives before we get to eat something worse.

Zayn helped us order OMA (a transport service just like taxify and uber) because, nobody’s eye was clear enough to be jumping buses. My colleagues were surprised to see us with our bags so, we gave them the excuse of not wanting to miss the bus that’ll will take us back to Abia state on Sunday (part of our escape reason tho). The room was better. I wonder the kind of work my temporary roommates put to make it that neat. I didn’t know how to feel when I heard the beach trip didn’t hold because a heavy rain that fell on Friday. (rain I didn’t even notice because, local girl was in another planet) I tried to sleep but, hunger couldn’t allow me. I went downstairs to buy food from a shop downstairs. Students were all over the quarrelsome fat vendor. So, she was practically attending to about ten people at a time. I wasn’t surprised to hear they had just stale doughnut with soft drink AGAIN! Since the previous day. While I awaited my turn, I tried to imagine he number of plastic chairs she must have broken her entire life with her weight. I was really surprised at the quantity of food she was selling for little money. I mean, when it finally got to my turn, two hundred and fifty naira got me rice with beef so big that there was a struggle to close the disposable pack. I later learnt food is cheaper in Enugu because, a colleague testified to have bought the same rice for a lesser amount and bigger quantity in another place. You don meanit.

I struggled to get a sitting space in a long and wide bus in which lets passengers in both through the back and also through the front passenger’s side. People who weren’t lucky enough to secure a seat stood and held unto poles attached to the roof of the bus (These buses are found all over Enugu). The bus dropped us infront of the school’s multi-purpose hall and made a U-turn to get other students. The event was slated to start around 11 am but, didn’t until 3p.m. A quiz session was held and through shameless mago mago, we came second place instead of first place which was awarded the host school. E pain us die. Some upcoming artistes performed too. But sadly, the handsome artiste didn’t show up. A google talk show was held by a terribly fine man named Solomon whom I got his number sha. (for business purposes please). Some schools displayed cultural dances. Then, ‘lunch’ came and yes! You guessed right it was DOUGHNUT. Oh this time, there wasn’t any soft drink but, pure water. While others were rallying to return it, a few people including me were on the ‘half bread is better than none’ side. Closing prayers and vote of thanks were said before we scrambled out to await the long bus that will convey us back to the lodge to prepare for dinner night which would hold in Enugu town.

Cultural day

I got ready in time but, decided to wear makeup like my friends. I’m sure the long bus made the three rounds it was booked for while I was busy trying to blend concealer on my eyebrows. I came down all glammed up to see people running after it during its last round and, I would have joined in the race but, I didn’t want anybody to spoil my two-hour makeup in return for sorry. In my mind, the bus go come back na after all, we still remain plenty but, that was an illusion. My friends and I kept standing there for about two hours and at a time, we started contemplating on returning to the hostel to wipe our two-hours effort and sleep. But, I didn’t come all the way from Abia state to sleep.  Around ten-thirty pm, we followed other students to trek out to where we would possibly get a bus. Some buses came and students struggled to get on them for a hiked price. By the time we reached a junction, buses stopped coming. I was already sleepy and regretting why I didn’t obey the voice of reason to just stay back and sleep. We were a bunch of students in an unfamiliar place except few of us who school in ESUT. Some sat in the middle of the tarred road gisting and not being as paranoid as I became. Two empty buses later came and the struggle to get in was real. Even windows became entrances. A seat was four hundred naira so, we had to lap ourselves (sit two persons per seat) for the price of five hundred naira per seat for a journey that was a hundred and fifty naira per seat during daytime.

By a few minutes to the hour of 2 am, my friends and I were finally on our way to Summer Hills place event centre cramped in a bus driven by a drunk driver.

Sunday

We arrived the place and was surprised the event hadn’t even kicked off. All the seats were taken. I already had enough nonsense for a day so, I took to chancing (taking seats reserved for others without smiling). I kept on snapchatting to any nice song the DJ played and when the pageantry finally started, local girl started to sleep. A friend woke me to pick a piece of meat which was actually a bit stale from a plate meant for our table. I went back to sleep again with the consolation that I will eat a better meal maybe later just as the organisers promised. I woke hours to find everyone on their feet, dancing and screaming when a new song came on.  The excitement got to me so, I joined and went over to Darling’s table to make my baby girl snap out of her sober mood. We went around the hall teasing guys to dance with us then, run away. We would sit down when a ‘dry’ music comes on and jump wildly when a nice one is being played then, start going around again.

I left the party around 4 am with a few people. People had already started leaving the hall and were downstairs totally ignoring the number of bus drivers waiting for people they’ll exploit. It was like the ones that conveyed students to the event centre the previous night went to gather their friends and family who had buses to come and see gold mine. Some people patronised them tho while some of us sat in the cold battling both mosquitoes and sleep as we waited on the long bus which never showed up by the way. I realized the rotten meat was actually the food that was promised as no other edible talk more of food was shared again (inside life). I also learnt the pageantry was cancelled while I slept for reasons best known to the judges after the contestants paid three thousand naira for the forms. I actually felt for the beautiful lady who supposedly hired and paid a professional makeup artist.

By 6 am, my friends and I gave up on waiting for the long bus and entered the available one. It was already daybreak but, quite early so, we paid a hundred and fifty naira each although some of us still lapped. My bag was already packed right from Zayn’s house so, I caught a little sleep while my roommates gathered their belongings.

I was more than excited to see the luxurious bus from my school when the driver came to take us back. My colleagues who I was already seeing as family and I kept on making jokes of the whole activities. Some swore never to return to Enugu talk more of ESUT again. The driver was patient enough to stop briefly when we saw people hawking okpa by the roadside for, it will be an abomination to visit Enugu state and not taste its famous okpa.

As sleep took over my entire being, I was grateful I got to finally visit the state I only fantasized about. I will miss its red earth that is quick to stain one’s cloth as it reminds me of my childhood days when I do not joke with red mud. I always ate it then while imagining I was eating nzu instead. I will miss seeing the long buses, its beautiful monuments and structures dating far back.  One thing I know is I will surely come visiting again in the nearest future. Another thing I know is, I won’t be eating any doughnuts for a very long time.

I’m sure the organisers of this year’s convention tried their best which was clearly not enough. I know it must have been overwhelming planning an event that will stretch for days whereby some other schools will be attending. But next time, I suggest things like accommodation, transport, electricity and most especially feeding should be well taken care of and if unable to do so, participating students should be well informed so, they could have a heads up and plan both themselves and their pockets well. I miss my roommates Ezinne with the ginger, funny Precious, Chinonso, my beautiful VP Adaolisa, Ella baby and reserved Fineboy.

PS: I'm now an indigene of Enugu state,Nigeria. Kedu?

#MemoirsOfMyEnuguExperience

#QueenLikeNono